A Letter From The Dog

Dear Mr. Stork:

Seven months ago my parents came home with this little "bundle" of joy they affectionately call "Kailer" (or some other "cutesie" name that they've made up for him) and I am writing to you, because I think that there's been a mistake.

You see, up until 7 months ago I was THE most important person (that's right, I am a "people," even if I do have 4 legs and a tail) in this house. Now that this thing called "Kailer" is living with us, well I'm no longer Numero Uno. Now don't get me wrong, this thing that's living with us now is pretty cute ... but I can already see the T-R-O-U-B-L-E in his eyes. I mean c'mon the kid wants to ride me like I'm some kind of pony. And you wanna know the sick part of it all? My parents encourage me to play with "it." In fact they had me barking so much one night to please "it" that my poor little throat hurt. The "Kailer" thought it was hilarious though. Okay, I do admit, it was pretty fun to get all worked up in the house -- something I'm not usually allowed to do. However, I'm scared to think what's going to happen when this "Kailer animal" becomes mobile. Scary!!

It's this stuffed pony now, but I'm afraid I'm next!

Let me demonstrate what I mean by giving you an example. On Thursday night (New Year's Eve), I was lying on the couch, minding my own business when Mom approached me with "it," drooling worse than a Saint Bernard. Mom said, "Mesa stay." Oh okay, right, like that's fair! I'm trying to catch a few Zzz's on the couch and she brings this little drooling monkey to play with me. But being the good girl that I am, I stay and allow the little "Kailer" to pet me.

You can just SEE the orneriness in his eyes; I'm giving Mom the "if looks could kill," look!

"Oh no .. he's going to get me with that slobbery hand!"

I'll beat him at his own game and lick him before he can get me!

Then I decide to jump off the couch (to save my hair from a baby bath) and this is the look "it" gives me ... like this "Kailer" kid owns me or something?!

So, do you see where I'm coming from - and this is just the beginning! I know I have many, many, many more years of torture from this "Kailer." So I was wondering, Mr. Stork, if it wouldn't be too much to ask - do you think you could maybe bring this kid back when he's about 13 and no longer intersted in harassing me??

Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated, though I have to admit, I have my doubts. I've spoken to some of my other peeps in the neighborhood, who also have these minature humans living with them, and it sounds like they've become a permanent part of their lives. So if that's the case, I'll cope and learn to share my toys with "it." They did give me an insider's tip though, they said that if I sit next to this thing called a high-chair I can get all kinds of good food coming down to me ... it's like angels are dropping it from above. So maybe there is something to look forward to!!

Thank you in advance.

Mesa (aka: the dog)